Blood Cycle

You’re uncomfortable, it’s too hot, it’s an uneasy feeling, the cramps and then of course the bleeding. 

You want to sleep in and not wake up till the pain goes away. You simply want to do nothing at all, but sleep. Your breasts are sore and you feel like someone is punching your abdomen and your lower back. Having a civilised conversation, at times, feels like such a chore. 

You want to cry and then you want chocolate and then you cry while eating the chocolate. You want a hug, but you don’t really want anyone to touch you. You’re emotional and annoyed at the same time. 

And yet, most women have work to do, household chores or otherwise. They have to take care of others, do their chores like routine, as if nothing has changed and still do it without grimacing from the uneasiness. And most women won’t even complain, because it’s just something we all go through. It’s not like we have much of a choice. 

It’s just your uterus being pissed at you for not procreating. At the same time, for those who don’t want to procreate, bleeding for a few days a month is a blessing and a curse. 

And to top it all, tampons and maxi-pads are considered luxury items and taxed a bit more. Thanks for that, peeps! Also, around here, it’s not supposed to be seen. Like, getting your period is a shameful thing. It’s wrapped carefully in a bag and given to you. (Just like condoms, might I add, because, well, safe sex is also a terrible thing apparently.) We are bleeding and in pain for crying out loud. The last thing we care about is if anyone might just see a green or blue pack of pads in my bag. Deal with it. Just the way we all deal with the pain of the bloody cycle. Month after month, the same bloody routine. 

We should all be given discount coupons for Cadbury’s and Baskin Robbins during that time of the month. You know, just in case you need that little extra boost. 

I’d ask for others to cut us some slack around this time, given that we are generally primed towards feeling a bit low, tired and irritable. But, hell. That’s too much to ask for. Ugh. 

Yeah. Chocolate is always a good idea. 


Dating or some such Thing

Dating in your 30s is a whole different ball game. I guess it was easier before. At least that’s what I feel personally. I got introduced to my ex through a friend. I was with him for a whole 7 years before we decided that we weren’t meant for each other. We split up and moved on. I think we made it easier for each other when moving on because neither of us wanted to be with the other person.

After the split, I did try what everyone else was doing. Tinder and those other dating sites. And the one thing I found most common was that people didn’t want to date with the intention of taking it further. And that might work for some, but “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” isn’t really my style. Some suggested being in an open relationship. And some suggested that they would like to be friends with benefits. I never understood these concepts before and I certainly am not getting with the program now. These concepts are literally alien to me and I’d like it to stay that way. 

Sometimes I feel like the romance is just lost. So what is it that people want? “Hey! Let’s be together and pretend like we’re in a relationship. But at the same time we want to be able to see other people. You can’t be jealous if I’m on a date with someone else, but we’re still loyal to each other and have great sex, but we won’t do dates and dinners and movies. We won’t meet each others’ families but friends are okay. Let’s act like we’re married and almost live together, but if we need our space, we can stay away from each other and finally, if this isn’t going the way it’s supposed to, we can call it quits and move on because we were never in love in the first place.

Well, that’s what it seems like to me. I’m quite sure there are a lot of benefits to being in this sort of relationship, but I just don’t see the point. I don’t understand it and I don’t care to. I suppose I’m a tad old-school. If you’re with someone, be with them. Fall in love, go on dates, spend time with each other, invest emotionally and be in it whole heartedly. Don’t like it, break up and move on. It seems quite half hearted otherwise. 

I want the whole deal, I guess. Considering I felt like I was cheated out of it before. I want flowers and cuddles and forehead kisses and a man who’ll say my most favourite words, “I’ll do the dishes.” 

But perhaps because I’m a tad older than 20, I’m a bit more set in my ways and it’s difficult to look at things from a different point of view than what others can do with ease. 

In any case, I’ve currently put a hold on this dating business. For now I’m content with my life. Life’s good. 

Other Fish in the Sea

So, there’s this girl I know. Amazing woman. Smart and pretty and all that. And she’s stuck on him. That’s great. But when he’s not stuck back or even mildly attracted to her, why bother? But she’s as persistent as my puppy when he sees a treat, that I just had to stop talking her out of it. Yes. I get that you want to be with him. Yes. He kinda wants to be with you too. But he’s not committed to you and is seeing other people. Even if it was just her and him in the mix, that would’ve been fine. But, hell, woman! You’re falling for someone who doesn’t even give you the time of day! He doesn’t even care as much as you do! 

How does one explain to someone that it’s not worth it? Oh, boy. There’s really no talking her out of it. She’s prepping for emotional destruction and I’m prepping for the alcohol and tears that come after. 

To be honest, I’m the kind of person that gets attached to people way too quickly. But I also detach just as quickly. It’s just my thing. I won’t hold on to someone that’s not going to be a part of my life. What’s the point? Live and let live, right? Also, you’re more often than not dead to me if you hurt me and leave me in pieces. 

Yep. I give it a few more months before I get that call. Unless things work out for her (in which case, I’ll celebrate with shots). Otherwise I’m just going to be that friend who listens to everything, pours the next drink and tells her that there are many other fish in the sea. 

(Yes. Jellyfish, because they’ll sting at some point.)