Dating or some such Thing

Dating in your 30s is a whole different ball game. I guess it was easier before. At least that’s what I feel personally. I got introduced to my ex through a friend. I was with him for a whole 7 years before we decided that we weren’t meant for each other. We split up and moved on. I think we made it easier for each other when moving on because neither of us wanted to be with the other person.

After the split, I did try what everyone else was doing. Tinder and those other dating sites. And the one thing I found most common was that people didn’t want to date with the intention of taking it further. And that might work for some, but “wham, bam, thank you ma’am” isn’t really my style. Some suggested being in an open relationship. And some suggested that they would like to be friends with benefits. I never understood these concepts before and I certainly am not getting with the program now. These concepts are literally alien to me and I’d like it to stay that way. 

Sometimes I feel like the romance is just lost. So what is it that people want? “Hey! Let’s be together and pretend like we’re in a relationship. But at the same time we want to be able to see other people. You can’t be jealous if I’m on a date with someone else, but we’re still loyal to each other and have great sex, but we won’t do dates and dinners and movies. We won’t meet each others’ families but friends are okay. Let’s act like we’re married and almost live together, but if we need our space, we can stay away from each other and finally, if this isn’t going the way it’s supposed to, we can call it quits and move on because we were never in love in the first place.

Well, that’s what it seems like to me. I’m quite sure there are a lot of benefits to being in this sort of relationship, but I just don’t see the point. I don’t understand it and I don’t care to. I suppose I’m a tad old-school. If you’re with someone, be with them. Fall in love, go on dates, spend time with each other, invest emotionally and be in it whole heartedly. Don’t like it, break up and move on. It seems quite half hearted otherwise. 

I want the whole deal, I guess. Considering I felt like I was cheated out of it before. I want flowers and cuddles and forehead kisses and a man who’ll say my most favourite words, “I’ll do the dishes.” 

But perhaps because I’m a tad older than 20, I’m a bit more set in my ways and it’s difficult to look at things from a different point of view than what others can do with ease. 

In any case, I’ve currently put a hold on this dating business. For now I’m content with my life. Life’s good. 

Show Me


Okay. I see a lot of “What I want to tell my daughter” articles out there. And that’s wonderful. I love reading them because my mother never sat me down and told me a lot of those things. But I personally believe in nature versus nurture and that actions speak louder than words
I learned a lot from my mother even though she didn’t write to me or sit me down and tell me what to do. My father too. 

My mother taught me that food actually is the way to a man’s heart (although, I barely cook). My father taught me that exercise and breakfast are supremely important things. My father also turned me a tad OCD, while my mother taught me that it’s all right to be a tad messy. I won’t take out the trash the previous night, but I’ll clean my kitchen spotless before I go to bed, lest my kitchen is infested with cockroaches and ants. 

Since I can’t see without my glasses, everything has to be put back in its right place. I’m very particular about where things are supposed to be. That comes from dad. My mother taught me that pride goes before fall and sometimes I have to swallow my pride and deal with the situation. Although my ego is quite large and it takes a while before I bend or succumb to saying that I’m sorry. Now, that, I get from my father along with the short temper. 

They both taught me not to lie and that money doesn’t grow on trees. They taught me that it isn’t a house, but a home and that one must always take pride in it. They taught me that practise always makes perfect. 

They did all of this by example. My mother will wake up just a tad earlier than us and make breakfast. My father, unless very sick, still doesn’t miss his morning walk and hearty breakfast. My dad will do the dishes and never leave anything in the sink, while my mother folds clothes and leaves them on the bed, while dad puts them away. The bed is always made and the pillows always straightened. My father will keep things where they belong, while my mother is capable of losing her phone while she’s holding it. 

Yes. I learnt from how my parents behaved and how they treated me and my extended family and their friends. And I think it’s safe to say that I’m not completely damaged (although my teenage self would claim they were out to ruin my life). 

I still believe that children, especially in their formative years, look at their parents. The way they are, how they behave and follow suit. And that’s the time when you teach them all this. By example. That’s why I say, “Show me.” Don’t tell me. 

Other Fish in the Sea

So, there’s this girl I know. Amazing woman. Smart and pretty and all that. And she’s stuck on him. That’s great. But when he’s not stuck back or even mildly attracted to her, why bother? But she’s as persistent as my puppy when he sees a treat, that I just had to stop talking her out of it. Yes. I get that you want to be with him. Yes. He kinda wants to be with you too. But he’s not committed to you and is seeing other people. Even if it was just her and him in the mix, that would’ve been fine. But, hell, woman! You’re falling for someone who doesn’t even give you the time of day! He doesn’t even care as much as you do! 

How does one explain to someone that it’s not worth it? Oh, boy. There’s really no talking her out of it. She’s prepping for emotional destruction and I’m prepping for the alcohol and tears that come after. 

To be honest, I’m the kind of person that gets attached to people way too quickly. But I also detach just as quickly. It’s just my thing. I won’t hold on to someone that’s not going to be a part of my life. What’s the point? Live and let live, right? Also, you’re more often than not dead to me if you hurt me and leave me in pieces. 

Yep. I give it a few more months before I get that call. Unless things work out for her (in which case, I’ll celebrate with shots). Otherwise I’m just going to be that friend who listens to everything, pours the next drink and tells her that there are many other fish in the sea. 


(Yes. Jellyfish, because they’ll sting at some point.)

Adorable Fool

So, this is my dog. The most adorable creature on the planet, of course. 

I mean, I can’t not love this fool. He’s literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Through the good days and the bad, he never fails to be by my side. 

Okay, I was always a dog person, but had never had a furball hanging around the house. And now that I do, my schedule basically revolves around him. I mean, I work so I can buy him expensive treats and fancy toys that he destroys in under 60 seconds. 

The most adorable thing though is, he’s happy when I’m happy and tries to make me happy when I’m sad. Damn. If I’d had him growing up, I might be a very different person right now. But better late than never, I say. He makes me a better person. 

Let me add here that he’s an expert sock theif. There. I said it. I always have one missing sock. And I find it in his little toy box. And he seems to be very thrilled at the concept of playing hide-and-go-sock. My threats fall on deaf ears unless a pack of crisps are being opened somewhere in the house. 

Oh, my adorable little fool. How I love him. And how he charms the pants off anyone who comes home into giving him table scraps when I’m not looking. Little bugger. Love him to bits. 🐾