Blood Cycle

You’re uncomfortable, it’s too hot, it’s an uneasy feeling, the cramps and then of course the bleeding. 

You want to sleep in and not wake up till the pain goes away. You simply want to do nothing at all, but sleep. Your breasts are sore and you feel like someone is punching your abdomen and your lower back. Having a civilised conversation, at times, feels like such a chore. 

You want to cry and then you want chocolate and then you cry while eating the chocolate. You want a hug, but you don’t really want anyone to touch you. You’re emotional and annoyed at the same time. 

And yet, most women have work to do, household chores or otherwise. They have to take care of others, do their chores like routine, as if nothing has changed and still do it without grimacing from the uneasiness. And most women won’t even complain, because it’s just something we all go through. It’s not like we have much of a choice. 

It’s just your uterus being pissed at you for not procreating. At the same time, for those who don’t want to procreate, bleeding for a few days a month is a blessing and a curse. 

And to top it all, tampons and maxi-pads are considered luxury items and taxed a bit more. Thanks for that, peeps! Also, around here, it’s not supposed to be seen. Like, getting your period is a shameful thing. It’s wrapped carefully in a bag and given to you. (Just like condoms, might I add, because, well, safe sex is also a terrible thing apparently.) We are bleeding and in pain for crying out loud. The last thing we care about is if anyone might just see a green or blue pack of pads in my bag. Deal with it. Just the way we all deal with the pain of the bloody cycle. Month after month, the same bloody routine. 

We should all be given discount coupons for Cadbury’s and Baskin Robbins during that time of the month. You know, just in case you need that little extra boost. 

I’d ask for others to cut us some slack around this time, given that we are generally primed towards feeling a bit low, tired and irritable. But, hell. That’s too much to ask for. Ugh. 


Yeah. Chocolate is always a good idea. 

Nothing

When I say that I’m doing nothing, I literally mean that I’m doing nothing. It means that I have carved out time from a busy schedule to do nothing. I love doing nothing. 

Nothing as defined by me is when I stay in bed, read and book and have my dog at my feet. When someone calls and asks what I’m doing, I say, “Nothing.” It doesn’t mean that that because I’m doing nothing that I’m free. It simply means that this time is my “nothing-time”.

There used to be a time when I was always up to something. Always doing something or going somewhere or simply pottering about the house cleaning or doing mundane chores. Nowadays I stop for about an hour or so either on a Saturday or a Sunday and just do nothing. It helps me calm myself down and recharge my batteries. At times I don’t even read. I just stare at the ceiling, curled up in my blanket and concentrate on my breathing — my own private form of meditating. 

This also taught me how to be alone with myself. I never knew how to do that before. It was always difficult for me to be alone. I was almost afraid of being alone. But now, I have no qualms about it. It actually gives me some space and the peace that comes with it, gives me immense joy. 

Therefore, I say once again. I love doing nothing. Sometimes, it’s the best part of my weekend. 

Chai Time

So, I have this routine in the morning. I take the pup for a walk, run a little, make breakfast and then finally, I make my hot lemon tea and sit in my balcony. 

This tea time, is a special time for me. Rarely do I invite anyone to chill with me on a workday when I’m having my tea. If you’ve been allowed to do so, consider yourself extremely lucky. 

Before the hustle and bustle of the day begins with work and the stress and all that, I take 20 minutes. That’s it. Those 20 minutes are mine. I sit with my tea, in my balcony and enjoy some quality time with myself. I have great conversations with myself too. It’s the only time I think out loud and there’s really no one around to judge. Sometimes I read, sometimes I listen to music and sometimes I just sit on the balcony floor with my puppy and pet him. It’s a calming process for me. The jumble that has taken place the previous night and the brain-drain of the day moving forward, is turned down a notch or two, just by sipping some tea and relaxing my mind. 

It’s almost imperative that I do this every day. I don’t really need a jolt to start the day. What I crave is peace of mind before the day begins. 

Oh, how I love chai time. 😍